Drastic Measures
by Misty-Kid
Summary: The character of Justin is portrayed in the series as the rebel wild child as a result of being the baby in the family. In this story I explore a more sinister and darker event in Justin’s’ early life which could have led to the events in the show.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note**: Yes, yes, yes – I know that I have a raft of O.C. fan fiction lying dormant on here. I also know that I have never seen a story all the way through to the end. What can I say I'm a sporadic and very annoying author! But this story has been driving me crazy! Actually got to a point where I needed to put it on paper just to get it out of my head! I hope anyone reading forgives me for my past indiscretions but more importantly enjoys this story.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters portrayed within this story they belong to the makers of Brothers & Sisters.

**Summary:** The character of Justin is portrayed in the series as the rebel wild child as a result of being the baby in the family. In this story I explore a more sinister and darker event in Justin's' early life which could have led to the events in the show.

**Points to Remember**: This story is set in the past before the show focuses on the lives of the characters therefore I have approximated ages of the main characters to reflect the gaps on the show.

* * *

The Robinsons had been neighbours of the Walkers for nearly 40 years, when William had purchased his dream home the Robinsons had been on the street for many years and already had a growing family.

Tonight was Mary and Andrews' 50th Wedding Anniversary celebrations and in true party spirit the whole street had been invited to celebrate along with the family. Also in the true party spirit, Nora Walker had commanded that ALL of the Walkers (and wider circle) be present and correct at the party – it goes without saying that best behaviour was expected by all.

To a nineteen-year-old Justin the party was the typical event, penguin suited waiters rushing around with canapé platters, soft cheesy background music accompanying every conversation and the constant stream of faces that seemed to know him but he had no idea who they were.

Sarah, Joe, Kitty and – and – God what was his name – Kitty's new boyfriend – M, M something Mark, Marvin – Marshall! The four of them were seated round a patio table dressed appropriately, with glasses of vintage wine on show chatting about Kitty's new love interest's temptation to buy a holiday home in Barbados. Kitty always had an unavoidable attraction to men with plenty of money but very little awareness of how they were perceived by the world. Justin smiled as he saw Joe polish of the last of his wine in one swig and didn't miss the swift kick delivered to his shin by Sarah as she tried desperately to smile and nod in time to Marshall's ramblings.

Justin turned inside and headed between the crowds of people hoping to avoid another awkward conversation about college plans with a concerned friend of his fathers worried about his 'career path'. College just wasn't for him – no one had been this concerned when Tommy had left high school and gone straight into their fathers business.

Reaching the kitchen through the pantry Justin was finally alone with only a few scurrying waiters for company. Finally he was able to fix himself a decent strength Seven 'n' Seven expertly disguised as a soft drink – he needed something to get him through a Friday night spent with these people.

Circling the centre island to head back out to the main action of the party he spotted an unwelcome yet familiar face. Through the patio doors leading to the driveway, was a man dressed in an expensive suit and tie – this wasn't what concerned Justin it was the arm he had wrapped around the shoulders of one of the neighbours children.

Instantly, without conscious decision, Justin was outside and beside the man – he didn't trust his voice to speak directly to the man so instead he focused on the boy in the conversation, he recognised him from the street:

"Hey Callum, your Moms looking for you – I think its time to go home now." Justin tried to raise a reassuring smile at the boy; he smiled back confidently and scampered off over the flower bed separating the path to the gardens.

Swallowing hard Justin turned and for the first time in five years looked into the darkest eyes he had ever seen.

"What are you doing?" he questioned his voice betraying his nervousness.

"What am I doing?" the voice drawled, "I was just talking to young Callum – he's going to be coming for music lessons soon. What are you doing J?"

"Don't!" Justin pleaded closing his eyes for an instant, "Don't call me that. You stay away from him – I'm warning you – just stay away."

"Or what?" the man drew himself up to his full height, which today wasn't much more than Justin's height but the threat was clear "What will you do exactly?"

Frozen in place Justin gripped at the ice cold glass tightly, his eyes fixed upon a deep purple pansy to the left of his feet.

"I didn't think so." The man sneered one last time and walked away from Justin, as he re-entered the party Justin's stomach turned as he heard the sinister voice raise an octave to his pretend false front.

* * *

Justin had no idea how long he had stayed out on the driveway path, he had polished off the Seven 'n' Seven long ago – downing it in a mere three gulps. The alcohol had burned his throat but warmed his stomach, helping to calm the nerves he had felt. He knew that he needed more to make the images, smells, sounds – all of it – go back into the box he had closed years before.

It had been a surprise to see him here tonight they had managed to avoid each other for years even on those rare occasions when they were at the same function he had the sense to stay at a safe and discreet distance from the Walkers.

Justin returned to the kitchen, which was now winding down for the evening – dishes were in the sink and stacks more filled every available space. Again Justin silently went about fixing himself a drink – nobody around questioned him they were used to drunken trust fund kids at parties. This time Justin cut out the mixer pouring straight Vodka into the glass, downing without pause and then refilling.

The alcohol was beginning to take effect; his body was warm and loose, the edges of his vision taking on a fuzzy quality indicating he was well on his way to inebriation.

His confidence returned he headed outside this time the area was a lot less crowded most of the guests deciding to call it an early night and had dispersed from the house. Kevin, Tommy and his father were stood around the edge of the pool with Andrew Robinson deep in conversation; no doubt Dad was still on about the four of them golfing before the bad weather struck.

Still Sarah, Joe, Kitty and Marshall sat at the same table but this time they had been joined by a fifth person. His back to Justin he was still instantly recognisable.

"Justin." Sarah called out to him from her seat "Justin? Hello Justin?"

Breaking from his trance Justin raised his head in quick acknowledgement of his eldest sisters greeting. All the while his heart was beating in his chest 'don't ask me to come over, please, please don't ask me to come over'.

"Where have you been? Mom was looking for you she wanted to head home hours ago." Sarah was the most parental of all his siblings but she still couldn't read the fear on his face – he had become too good at hiding it.

"Come and sit down – she just went to the bathroom then we can go." With that she twisted back round in her seat and tried to catch up on the conversation she had missed.

As steadily as he could Justin walked over to the table the only seat left was directly between Sarah and his tormentor. Gingerly he kicked the chair out and closer to Sarah sitting as far from his reach as he could.

"Hey Jus – Mr. Thomson was just telling us about the years of piano lessons he gave you and you still can't play a tune." Sarah toyed with her glass in her hand as the group laughed.

"Oh please Sarah – after all these years you can't call me Michael?" There was that voice again, his show voice to fool everyone, so no one would see the real him. "So what's the verdict then? The sooner the better I say?"

Justin raised his eyes sharply looking to Sarah.

"Mr. – I mean Michael – was just asking about Paige. He thought that she should be staring lessons soon – if your record's anything to go by we should get a head start." Again the small gathering was smattered with laughter, Kitty and Sarah not trying to concealing their giggles at teasing their little brother.

"I don't know yet she's still really young, maybe once she starts school we could try her?", Joe always the voice of reason and concern for his children.

"No." Justin's statement cut like a knife through the jovial feeling around the table. "No you can't".

"Alright Jus it was just an idea."

Justin was no longer interested in those related to him around the table his gaze was locked on Michael. How dare he? For all those years he had kept his secret, never telling anyone and now he was sitting here talking about his niece, he wouldn't let that happen.

"She'll never be near you." His protective instincts were kicking in and he was in danger of letting his emotions get the better of him.

"Justin!" – Kitty

"Justin, that's enough!" – Sarah

But they didn't know – they didn't know.

"Justin – I – I just wanted to offer my services early." That smile, he knew they were in a stand off that he had the upper hand, Justin was trapped.

The alcohol had clearly heightened his emotions and diminished his sense of consequences – before he had the chance to think rationally his right hand hurt like hell and the sound of smashed glass filled the air.

"JUSTIN!" Quickly the world came into focus, any thoughts of being drunken gone, sobering actions which he hadn't anticipated.

His eyes stayed on the middle aged man now sprawled on the patio, his right hand extended to his face holding his bleeding lip. He felt the sets of grabbing hands and his ears filled with male voices – Tommy, Kevin, probably Joe – all of them tugging him backwards away from the scene.

Instinctively his body tensed and breathing became ragged, "Get off!"

"What the hell Justin?" Kevin's firm hand pressed against the middle of his chest.

Michael had the sense to rise to his feet and step back rather than prolong the confrontation; William had stepped between the parties extending his first concern to Michael rather than his youngest.

"Michael – I'm so sorry – are you alright?" He stepped in and dipped his head trying to examine the bleeding lip.

"It's okay William." Another step back. "Really nothing serious – obviously the boy's upset about something. I didn't mean to offend him – just sharing some tales of his childhood."

The Walkers were now the centre of proceedings, those that were left stood still watching the events unfold, the Robinsons themselves nearby ready to protect their property should it escalate.

Red tinges flared on Michael's cheeks as he realised the scenario he was now in, "I should go home, Andrew thank you for a lovely evening."

And with that he was gone.

Turning on the spot William looked toward his sons grouped together, with no hint of discussion or concern he barked "Home. Now"

Silently Justin tore out of the grasp of his brothers and stalked past his father, just close enough to tip Williams shoulder round as he barged through.

"I can only apologise for my son's behaviour, Andrew. Thank you very much for the invitation and I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening but we'll be leaving now."

William nodded to his family and they all slipped past him, tracing the path Justin had left, they thanked the host as the pasted knowing not to anger their father anymore.

As the Walkers walked single file past the stairs a concern Nora walked against the tide looking for her husband.

"William what is going on here?"

* * *

Justin stormed in through the heavy wooden front door leaving it open in his wake he didn't have the energy to slam it shut behind him. That was lucky for Tommy who, being only several paces behind would have been on the receiving end of the door if he had taken out his anger on the furniture.

"Jus. Hey. Don't walk away from us." As usual father figure Tommy was desperate to be the first with his insults in. "Justin!"

Sharply Justin halted on the stairs and spun around stopping Tommy in his tracks at the bottom of the stairs, "What!?!"

Tommy, along with his other siblings were taken aback by the rage on Justin's face rarely was the teen drawn to such anger, "Uh – are you going to explain why you just punched out that guy?"

Justin's grip tightened on the banister of the stair, he was aware of the eyes on him as everyone made their way inside the house. The photographs of smiling faces over his right shoulder fuelled his anger. Pretending – it was all pretend.

"I don't have to explain anything to you Tommy." He steadied his voice, knowing it was near to breaking.

"Maybe not but you will be explaining it to me young man." The calm, unwavering voice of his father cut the air.

Turning on his heels Justin bolted from his spot, knowing the tears he could no longer hold back were beginning to drop from his eyes.

"Sweetheart?" was the last call from his mother as he dashed along the corridor and slammed the bedroom door with all his might.

* * *

He had stayed in the bathroom half of the night, the shower running to feign that he couldn't hear his Mom, Sarah, Kitty, Mom again, Kevin and finally his father calling through to him.

During that time he had formulated the only plan he could think would work – a way to confess, to stop the cycle, to save Callum and Paige and all the others, without the guilt and shame.

His sacrifice would be their gain – he knew what he had to do.

Finally when everyone had left and the driveway was empty he unlocked the door and slipped into his bedroom. He located everything he needed and was seated at his desk, it took at least ten attempts to organise what he had to say.

Finding the right words was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Once the letter was finished he had taken another hour to decide who to address it to, his mother would be devastated, his father wracked with guilt, Kitty had her own New York life, Tommy would never understand, Kevin looked at the world through lawyers eyes.

Sarah.

Sarah was his big sister, she was a mother, she had to protect Paige – she would know what to do, she always did.

Slipping the letter inside, he wrote her name on the front, his hand shook with every letter; instinctively he turned over the envelope and kissed the seal.

Now for the second part of his plan – reaching across the desk he popped the lid from the container and palmed a handful of tablets. He had taken plenty of drugs before, legal and illegal, but this was different his mind fought against everyone he swallowed.

Finally when he was satisfied and the bottles were empty he slipped beneath the sheets of his bed.

He gave a final thought to the person who would find him in the morning – he only hoped it wasn't his Mom.


	2. Chapter 2

Nora busied herself in the kitchen; it had been a long and sleepless night for all the family.

She had heard Justin still moving in his room until the small hours of the morning, her husband had similarly lain awake besides her reading, talking, tossing and turning trying to sort through the events of the party.

She had never before seen Justin, or any of her children for that matter, so distressed. Justin had a tendency to be emotional and easy to spark but she had never known him to be violent. Something in her stomach told her that there was much more to this situation than meets the eye – she would get to the bottom of her son's problem that she had promised herself.

She had risen early this morning, firstly checking in on Justin who was sleeping soundly, she decided to make him his favourite breakfast before William took him in hand. She knew that William had a soft spot for their youngest but when they clashed they could be as stubborn as each other.

Mixing the chocolate chips into the batter she heard voices floating in from the hallway, she breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Kevin's voice mixing with her husbands. The two men appeared in the kitchen, Kevin approached her and gave her a tender kiss on her cheek, she could tell he was concerned by the quick moment when their eyes met – he was on guard around his father.

"So… no sign of Jus then?" the first tentative broaching of the subject since the night before.

William was sat around the island, coffee in one hand and the paper spread before him he only raised his eyes to look at Kevin briefly then returned to the paper. He had had an early meeting with an orchard contractor this morning but had rescheduled so he could stay at home to see his son – who was not helping himself by lying in to avoid the conversation.

Nora glanced over her shoulder from the stove, "Not yet we had a late night last night."

Kevin knew the reaction from his parents meant 'Leave it now' in a non-too-subtle way.

"Probably sleeping off his hangover!" a deeper voice broke into the kitchen, Tommy's face appeared from the backdoor. He greeted his mother in the same fashion as Kevin and circled the island patting his fathers shoulder knowingly on his way to the coffee pot.

"Tommy what are you doing here?" Nora queried, not waiting for her son to respond she pointed the spatula at him threateningly, "Your brother does not need an audience this morning Thomas, you father and I need to have a serious talk with him."

Talking a long drink of the strong black coffee Tommy raised his hands in a surrendering gesture, "Actually I'm here to see Dad, not Justin – anyway Kevin's here!"

Nora had heard such defences from her children since they could talk, always quick to point out the others short comings.

"Hey sorry I was just concerned about our little brother flipping out and punching some guys lights out!" Kevin's sarcastic backhands were well honed.

"He did not 'punch his lights out' Kevin" his fathers voice silenced the banter between his two sons. "Tommy come into my office, we can talk there."

The two Walker men, coffees in hand, made their way out of the kitchen toward the home office, Kevin took over the reading of the paper and Nora returned to her pancakes.

"Do I smell choc chip pancakes?"

"Sarah?" Kevin and Nora stared at each other and called out in unison.

"Hi" Sarah's head appeared around the corner of cabinets, "Where's Jus?"

"Still in bed." Kevin commented quickly before his mother could jump in.

"Dad read him the riot act yet?"

"Nope, he's with Tommy."

"Excuse me!" Nora broke in, "As much as I love you just popping in, why are you all here so early in the morning don't you have jobs to go to?"

"Yes mother we have jobs but this is more important." Kevin answered with no hint of sarcasm or humour; he was as worried about Justin as the rest of them.

Silence filled the Walker kitchen, a very rare event.

The time continued to slip away quarter past became half past and a soon a new hour was approaching.

"Okay enough." Kevin got up from the counter and headed toward the stairs, quickly tailed by Sarah and Nora.

"What are you doing?" Nora tried to reach out to her sons arm, "Kevin don't please."

"Mom he has to get out of bed and face Dad sometime – he might as well do it while we're all here to talk with him." Kevin gave a wry smile trying to lighten the mood, "Plus I have a meeting at 10!"

He lightly jogged up the stairs toward Justin's room; Sarah pulled Nora away from the bottom of the stairs before she had the opportunity to eavesdrop.

Nora and Sarah had just re-entered the kitchen when they heard a shriek from upstairs followed by heavy footsteps and Kevin's strained calls.

"Mom! Mom! Mom call 911" Kevin appeared at the top of the stairs gripping the railings tightly his face pale. "Dial 911 it's Justin."

Sarah and Nora were joined hastily but William and Tommy; Sarah grabbed the hallway phone and pushed the emergency numbers as calmly as she could. The tears were already making paths down Nora's face as she listened to Kevin call Justin's name repeatedly.

Tommy and William began to make their way up the stairs quickly following Kevin's shouts; they entered Justin's room to be greeted by a crying Kevin with a limp and pale Justin in his arms.

"Jus?" Tommy called shocked by his brother's demeanour, he stayed in the doorway while his father took over the situation sensing the danger to his child.

"Justin? Kevin what's happening?" William pulled Justin from his arms and removed the blankets.

"I…I…I thought he was sleeping, I shook him…" Kevin stammered perched on the edge of the bed "…he wouldn't wake up…Dad he won't wake up…"

Sarah and Nora reached the doorway standing behind Tommy gazing into the room; Sarah had the phone clutched to her ear relaying details of the house to the operator on the other end.

"Oh God…what's happening…Justin…Justin!" Nora pushed her way through Tommy's shoulders to stand beside the bed.

William was knelt beside Justin's head checking his breathing and pulse, Nora stepped forward and tugged at his limp hand, crying uncontrollably as she watched her husband tend to Justin. Kevin was shaken from his haze by his mother's sobs he made his way around the bed and gathered her into his arms pulling her from the bed allowing his father to look after an unconscious Justin.

"Come on Jus." William called softly, looking toward Sarah he called out, "Tell them he's not breathing and I can feel a weak pulse."

Sarah gripped the phone to her ear, trying to block out her mothers desperate pleas, "Um…he…he isn't…I don't think he's…"

"Sarah!" He father stopped the emergency aid to look at his daughter carefully, "You need to be calm – tell them he isn't breathing and has a weak pulse."

William returned his attention to his son, carefully pinching his nose and tilting back his head, pushing deep breaths into his lungs, "Come on kiddo."

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, Tommy led two paramedics to the room where his brother lay.

His Dad was still beside Justin in an effort to get him breathing again, he had never seen his father so pleased to see anyone in his life.

"Okay Mr. Walker you've done a great job, Matt and I will take over now." The paramedic was so calm, probably because it wasn't their child or brother lying on the bed not breathing.

William reluctantly gave up his space joining his family, he wrapped an arm around his wife, she turned her face into his chest and immediately his shirt was wet with tears.

Swiftly a face mask and air bag replaced the job he had been doing, giving Justin vital oxygen. A gurney was brought to take Justin from the room and he was strapped securely on before the Walker men did their best to aid the paramedics out to the waiting ambulance.

The doors were slammed shut immediately and the paramedic rushed to get to the drivers seat, "One of you can ride with me – the rest will have to follow."

The Walkers paused, this was a choice they didn't want to make, surprisingly it was Tommy who took charge organising the family into action.

"Dad go with him. We can take my car and follow."

With that the Walkers sprung into action, Sarah, Tommy and Kevin headed toward the truck while William jogged to the front of the ambulance.

Left behind for an instance Nora called out to her husband, "Don't you dare let him die."

* * *

The drive to the hospital had been tense, the silence only broken by the stream of sobs and sighs from the occupiers, and of course the obligatory yet devastating calls to Kitty and Saul to relay the events of the morning.

Sarah knew that the situation was bad usually Tommy and Kevin would be full of reassurances for the women in the family, making them feel like they were over reacting in any situation.

But today was different, Tommy gripped the steering wheel till his knuckles were white and Kevin stared out of the passenger window the tears marking his cheeks.

Once at the hospital they were ushered into a 'Relatives Room' which had ghastly peeling pink paint, terrible coffee and month old magazines. The silence hung over the family, Nora jumping every time a nurse or doctor would rush past the door fearing the worst.

Kitty arrived from her hotel, minus Marshall, fifteen minutes after the family, Saul taking some more time to sort out the business now that it was without himself, William and Tommy for the foreseeable future.

With all of them present and Kitty and Saul having missed out on the morning's event, a low conversation began amongst the family. Many questions were batted back and forth – all the while Nora paced the floor occasionally stopping to stare out of the dirty window into the morning sky.

Finally their agony was broken by a sharp knock on the door as a middle aged male doctor swung open the door.

"Family of Justin Walker."

Slightly overwhelmed by the mass rush of six people to greet him as he entered, the doctor gestured to the chairs inviting the bedraggled family to return to their former positions.

"How is he doctor?" Saul questioned, Nora's hand firmly in his grasp.

"During the ambulance journey Justin's heart stopped," he drew breath allowing for the inevitable gasps and sobs which such news brought to any relative, "once in the E.R. we had to shock Justin's heart to get it to start beating again. He's still not breathing on his own so we've had to intubate him, this means placing a tube down his throat to allow a machine to breath for him. He's being moved to a high dependency ward as we speak so that he can be monitored carefully."

The Walkers took a moment to absorb this information, technically he had died his heart had stopped and he still wasn't breathing. Last night they had been fighting arguing with him and now…

"What caused this? His heart? Did he…" Sarah tailed off when a look passed across the doctors face she didn't recognise.

"Okay … we did a blood test as standard when Justin was brought into the hospital, the results showed high levels of the drug Temazepam. This is most commonly found in sleeping pills…"

"It was an accident." Nora cut the doctor short knowing where this conversation was headed instantly, "we were arguing last night before bed, he must have taken a sleeping pill."

"Mrs. Walker to reach the levels that Justin had in his system you we need to take at least half a bottle of tablets." The doctor glanced around the room, these people seemed so close and were extremely stressed by the situation they were in, no one wanted to admit someone they loved was so unhappy. "Mrs. Walker it's my professional opinion that Justin purposefully took an overdose of sleeping pills last night."

Nora rose to her feet and took to pacing the room again, "He wouldn't, Justin he just wouldn't, I know he's rebelled in the past – but he wouldn't, not on purpose."

"Mom." Kitty stood and attempted to comfort her panicked mother, who was currently wearing away a path in the carpet, Kitty could spot the warning signs that the doctor was in for an earful shortly.

"Don't Kitty!" Nora jerked her hands upwards in warning to her daughter, "Don't patronise me. He's had his problems but he wouldn't do this!"

Everyone sat in silence unsure of how to proceed; Nora was right Justin had been through trouble in the past but nothing that would make anyone consider him to be at risk of this. He was a happy, contented teenage, sure they had arguments about college, getting a job and his love of night life but what family didn't. It was a lot to take in that he could be this depressed.

"Where's my husband?"

"He's with your son while they settle him into the room Mrs. Walker."

"I want to see them." The children knew that tone well not a request but a command the doctor clearly didn't and opened his mouth to protest, "Now!"

"Of course, the nurse will direct you." Clearly there was no point in arguing, families under pressure rarely acted in a rational manner – that was one thing they didn't prepare you for in medical school.

The door closed behind Nora as she took some deep breaths to calm her raw nerves, she was on her way to see Justin she would know for herself when she saw him.

"So what happens now Doc?" Tommy asked leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees a hand rubbing at the stubble developing on his chin after a few days growth.

"We had to pump Justin's stomach in the E.R. to take away what we could of the remaining pills; we also administered charcoal to absorb any additional residue. He'll be given IV fluids continuously to flush out his system. Other than that we just have to wait till he wakes up."

"And the side effects…could he be…brain damaged from the lack of oxygen." Tommy appeared quite knowledgeable about the subject but it did nothing to calm Kevin's fears he hadn't even thought about the repercussions.

"With anyone who isn't breathing there is a danger that the brain could be starved of oxygen but the resuscitation your father carried out and the help from the paramedics he should have been receiving levels of oxygen. There are other side effects associated with sleeping pill misuse."

"Such as?" Saul this time, he was glad Nora had left by this point she could barely handle the events in the present never mind what could be coming in the future.

"Well there is a danger from the onset of shock, sustained breathing difficulties, fainting episodes and possibly slurred speech." The doctor was aware of the time moving on, he would never abandon a family when they needed him but rounds started ten minutes ago and he needed to be back down on his ward. "All these things are possibilities not certainties, we have just have to wait until Justin wakes up and assess him from there."

Rising from the seat his muscles groaned, he was coming to the end of a double shift and had been on since Thursday morning – at least he thought so.

"If that's all your questions for the time being I really should be getting back to the ward, for the moment Justin's restricted to two visitors but there will always be nurses around if you have any questions."

"Thank you so much doctor," Saul stood and shook his hand in a firm grip "really thank you for all your help."

Nodding the doctor left the family alone once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Authors Note: I know I am an awful writer for my less than sufficient postings/updates!! This is the third part in this story continuing to look at Justin's problems pre- show.

WARNING: Adult Themes

* * *

Nora could recall every time she had been in this hospital, pacing the same dreary corridors, drinking the same swill that passed for coffee.

Five times she had been on the ward several floors below. Bringing a new innocent life into the world, each time she had promised faithfully to give her child all that she could never holding back her love, compassion, respect and where necessary guidance.

Of course with five children in the family, three of which were boys, there had been plenty of trips to the hospital regarding stitches, broken bones and concussions. When Justin was six he had fallen off a wall dislocating his shoulder – much to the horror of a thirteen-year-old Tommy who had moved out of reach just as he had lost his footing. Nora had been so proud of her children that day – all of them had shown maturity and above all love for family. Justin had been showered with gifts, cards and was waited on hand and foot for weeks afterward.

As she steeled herself to enter the room where her youngest now lay she wondered how they had found themselves in this situation. She had denied the events in front of the children but she knew in her gut that what the doctor had said was true. Her child had felt so upset and alone that he tried to take his own life.

The question which now burned into her mind was why?

* * *

Saul remained in the Relative Room to be near his nieces and nephews for several hours after Nora had left, never before had he heard them so quiet.

Kitty was steadily working her way through a set of manicured nails biting them to oblivion, Tommy had his head tilted back resting against the cool wall behind him his eyes squeezed closed. Sarah had moved some time ago to sit by Kevin, who was inconsolable after events this morning, the tears had never stopped falling in all the time they had been here.

Saul swallowed hard as he contemplated how long they would continue to flow.

"Guys," he waited for the four sets eyes to locate him before continuing, "I think I'll go to the house, pick up some bits and pieces for your Mom, and maybe pack a bag for Justin. He'll want some home comforts when he wakes up."

"I'll come with you Saul," Sarah rose from her seat stretching out her muscles from their locked positions, "I can help you with the bags – I'm sure you don't wanna be going through Moms drawers." She tried to raise a smile but it was weak and didn't reach her eyes.

"You should stay Uncle Saul Mom and Dad might need you," Tommy joined the two standing his hand resting on his Uncles shoulder, "Plus my cars outside somewhere I left it in the hurry."

A consensus reached Sarah embraced Kitty and Saul before reassuring Kevin one last time leaving him with a soft kiss on his forehead before following Tommy out of the hospital.

* * *

Sarah took a deep breath before turning the key in the lock and pushing open the door to her childhood home. The house had many signs of the events this morning and neither spoke as they made their way through the house.

Tommy broke away to enter their fathers office, the fax machine was still on and beeping furiously while the files they had been discussing were strewn haphazardly across the desk. As Tommy tided away his fathers' belongings and locked shut the drawers his eyes caught the photograph on the top of the cabinet, a family picture from Kitty's graduation a few years ago – the whole family smiling out at the camera.

Sarah had made her way through to the kitchen; the coffee pot was in its usual place on the counter but was now melted to the bottom heater as it had been left on for… Sarah glanced at the clock when had they tried to waken Justin?

Near nine she thought, which meant nearly five hours had passed since this whole nightmare had begun. She dropped the pot into the bin followed swiftly by the last of pancake mix her mother had been tending too. Making sure all the appliances were off and safe she decided to leave the rest for another time she couldn't face tidying up right now – plus her mother would probably remodel the whole kitchen after the drama was over venting her maternal instincts.

She sighed again and ran her fingers through her hair she had to focus for the task ahead she left the kitchen and was met by Tommy at the base of the stairs.

"Ready?"

Not trusting herself to speak she nodded and took Tommy's hand as they ascended the stairs as Kevin had done under very different circumstances this morning.

Quickly and efficiently they were able to pack a large overnight bag for their parents, Tommy gathering together all the male necessities whilst Sarah took care of her mothers needs. No doubt they would forget something that their mother would want or have brought the wrong things but they would smile all the same and apologise not wanting to strain the situation anymore than it was already.

The walk down the hall to Justin's room was slow and laboured; finally Tommy pushed open the door to his brother's room. Neither of the siblings crossed the threshold just yet each caught in their own thoughts and memories of what they had witnessed, the image of their brother cradled in Kevin's arms would never be lost for either of them.

Sarah was the first to move crossing the space and entering the bathroom, silently she gathered together run of the mill objects trying hard not to think of all the questions flying around her mind. A toothbrush, face cloth, razor, floss – anything she could think he might remotely need were thrown into the black tote bag from under the sink.

"Sarah." A soft call from Tommy caught her attention.

Turning around she moved back into the main space of Justin's messy teen bedroom. Tommy's expression caught her eye; in his hand he held an envelope.

"What?" It was a mere stammer – she knew exactly what he was saying, exactly what he held in his hand.

"It was on the floor by the desk. It's got your name on it." Tommy glanced up, he wanted to protect his sister but they had the opportunity to find out what had pushed Justin.

"Maybe we should take it to Dad." Tommy stepped back from Sarah a little.

Sarah knew that whatever Justin had to say he had specifically chosen her to tell, they might pass on every secret with each other but when it came to the important life altering moments they always chose very carefully.

"He addressed it to me." Shakily she extended her hand to take the letter from her brother.

Justin's instantly recognisable handwriting met her eyes, not his usual haphazard hurried scrawl but a steadier shaken writing – no underlines or exclamation marks like he would leave on his usual 'borrowed your car be back soon' notes. She gripped the note and handed the overnight bag to Tommy turning to leave the room.

She stopped in the hallway leaning against the wall, waiting she heard no noise from Tommy he was obviously paused inside waiting for her to return – after a few moments she turned the envelope over in her hands and broke the seal.

After the first few paragraphs Sarah slid down the hallway wall crashing to the floor reading the words before her. Her eyes lost their focus with the tears rolling down her cheeks she kept reading the words over and over, unable to take in what Justin was saying.

Tommy appeared besides her gripping her shoulder, "Sarah?"

She raised her head to look at him her mouth opened but her brain couldn't find the words she couldn't even begin. Her hand offered him the letter now stained with her tears; she ran her fingers through her hair and drew her knees to her chest.

Tommy stood beside her, chewing his bottom lip in concentration his eyes scanned the letter the first time catching the main points several words leaping out from the page.

"Oh my God…" all he could manage as he too sank down beside Sarah.


	4. Chapter 4

Sarah and Tommy were side by side in the hall, Sarah's head rested heavily on her brother's shoulder – Tommy had the letter still clutched in his fist. Neither of them had any idea how long they had stayed silently like this, it could have been hours, the same information doing laps around their minds.

'We should…we should…get going.' Tommy stumbled breaking the silence that consumed the house. 'We need to get back to the hospital. They'll be wondering where we are.'

Tommy pushed himself up from where he sat, he opened the overnight bag in his hand examining his fathers belongings, 'I still need Dads razor…maybe he'll need more than this…'

Sarah gazed up from where she had slumped, she couldn't comprehend Tommy and how he could be so calm, 'Tommy!'

Her brothers back was disappearing down the hall towards their parents bedroom, looking at where he had been sitting she saw the letter crumpled on the floor. Reaching for it instinctively she flattened it out and returned it to the envelope.

'Tommy.' She called again, raising from the floor she traced his steps down the hall entering the room she watched him as he rifled through drawers haphazardly and switched between the master bedroom and en suite with no focus.

'Tommy' she walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, looking aimlessly at the tie he held in his hand. 'What are we going to do?'

Such a simple question, Tommy had been asked that questions thousands of times before by countless people. What are we going to do about the delivery? What are we going to do about the movie tonight?

None were quite as life changing as…What are we going to do about our baby brother's suicide note?

Tommy rested himself on the edge of the bed letting out a heavy sigh scrubbing a hand across his face he looked up at his sister and whispered, 'God Sarah how could we not know?'

Wrapping an arm around Tommy's shoulders Sarah steadily rubbed the middle of his back, she had only just found out this information herself and here she was dishing out support and comfort to him.

'He didn't know how Tommy. How do you talk about something like _that_?' She wondered herself what she could have done, if there had been any signs she could have picked up on sooner.

Silently tears were falling from Tommy's eyes; Sarah couldn't remember the last time she had seen Tommy crying. 'He went for lessons when he was…what Sarah…nine…nine years old Sarah…all those years…nearly ten years and he never told a soul.'

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut against the image, Justin was their baby brother, when he was nine she would have been in her twenties already graduated college, in a job, living in her own apartment.

Kitty was away at college on the East Coast visiting during the holidays, Tommy had begun working in Ojai with her father after dropping out of college and Kevin was still in high school living in the family home.

Every one of them had a strong bond with Justin when he was young; they felt protective of him more like parents than siblings. And yet this was going on – all the time they had spent together, family occasions they had shared…and nothing, not one word.

Giving his face a final gruff rub and a wipe of his red eyes, Tommy took Sarah's hand in his own and carefully looked her in the eye, 'We're going to have to tell Dad.'

* * *

In the starch white hospital room, the steady beeping was beginning to irritate Nora Walker. The noise signalled that her son's heart was still beating in a steady rhythm – so she supposed she should be grateful but still the constant sound invading her thoughts was getting rather annoying.

She sat by the bed in a large blue winged back chair, the leather on the arms showed clear signs of wear and tear from the years of worry induced abuse. In her left hand she clutched the limp and pale hand of her youngest child.

Behind her William paced a trail along the floor at the end of the bed, the same path over and over, door to wall along the length of the glass windows – never changing or ceasing. He hadn't spoken more than a few words since returning from the relative's room.

The nurses were coming every fifteen minutes, using polite smiles as they entered, working around the bed checking monitors and various medical equipment. Before they left the added a few notes to the clipboard hanging on the end of the bed, avoiding the gaze of the parents of the guant boy lying in the bed.

Nora's thumb traced a circle over and over on the back of Justin's hand, she waited desperately for any sign that he was waking up. So far there had been nothing not a twitch of the hand or flicker of the eyelids – just a still form in a still room.

Reaching over the bed Nora brushed a stray hair from his forehead and whispered the question that had still to be answered 'Oh darling…why?'

* * *

Tommy and Sarah hadn't spoken since those words in the bedroom, they were walking along the white hospital corridor hand and in hand heading back toward the relatives room. Toward the hardest thing they had ever had to do in their lives.

Pushing open the door Tommy led the way, still not releasing Sarah's hand. The four heads in the room shot up as the door opened – Saul eyes filled with worry, Kevin and Kitty still showed the evidence of tears.

The last face was a surprise to Sarah – Joe. She rushed straight into his arms, the tears flowing into his shoulder as he softly stroked her hair. Tommy folded his arms tightly across his chest and willed himself to speak to his family, 'Any news?'

Kevin's eyes darted away from his brother's watching as Joe tried to comfort Sarah as she wept. Kitty pulled her knees up to her chest on the chair a hand playing with her blonde hair.

'Nothing yet. Your Dad came along a while ago just to say there was no change as yet.' His Uncle Saul had always been the voice of reason; he paced the room throwing an empty coffee cup into the trash bin near the door.

'What took you so long?' Kevin's voice broke as he spoke, hoarse and rough from the previous bouts of crying.

Tommy's eyes glanced over at Sarah, her shoulders still shaking with her sobs as Joe 'shushed' her softly. 'Just took a while…to eh…pack up everything we needed.'

Motioning toward the bags he had in his arm, placing them on an empty coffee table and shoving his hands deep into his jeans pockets.

'And the rest?' Kevin again, in any other situation Tommy would have teased Kevin about his sixth sense but today it was something he wished wasn't so highly tuned.

Sarah stopped long enough to come back to Tommy and lift the dog eared letter from the side pocket of the bag. Holding it tightly in her hand she turned to face the others, Tommy placed his hand on her shoulder letting her know he was there with her.

'We found this…'

* * *

William leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his son's forehead, carefully avoiding the intubation tube which protruded unnaturally from his mouth. Giving his wife a lingering pat on the shoulder as he passed by he steeled himself for the walk back to the relative's room.

Already the trip had become something done on autopilot, straight ahead past the nurse's station, quick left then right; follow that corridor to the door on the left.

This time the journey was met by a rather unexpected ending, outside the room he was met by the sight of his brother-in-law and two uniform police officers scribbling furiously on notepads.

Quickening his step William was by Saul's side, gripping in his forearm to make him aware of his presence. Glancing up quickly Saul caught William's eye, he was caught off guard by his sudden presence, he hadn't been fully prepared for what he was about to do.

'What's going on Saul?'

'William…I…the police…'

'Mr Walker?' The middle aged policeman looked William up and down assessing the mans movements, 'I'm Officer Muir. I've been assigned to your son's case.'

'I don't understand. This has nothing to do with the police – it's a family matter.'

Officer Muir glanced at the two men, catching the Uncle's strained gaze he understood instantly that this father had no idea of the events which had been uncovered.

'Mr. Walker perhaps you would like to have a seat.' He gestured toward the row of plastic seating which had been screwed to the wall.

'The doctors have said that my children can visit – just for a little while. I think I should do that just now – you don't need to be here as I said this is a family matter. Thank you all the same.'

William broke away from the conversation and opened the door to the relative's room; he had expected his children to greet him. At least enquire how their brother was – but they all just looked up at him. Not one spoke or stood they just gazed at him, something William couldn't place was in their eyes and he turned back toward Saul.

Removing the evidence bag, the letter had been placed safely in an evidence pouch, labelled and sealed for protocol. He turned it over a few times in his hands and braced himself to speak.

Officer Muir took the father by the arm and led him down the corridor a little, 'I really think we should speak Mr. Walker.'


	5. Chapter 5

'Dad! Dad! Please how is this going to help?' Kitty ran through the rainy car park in hot pursuit of her father.

She had been watching him carefully through the windows in the relative's room as the police officer had led him over to a chair. She looked on, like she was having an out of body experience – she could hear no words all she had to go on was what she knew and the changing face of her father.

Within their family dynamics they all had different bonds, no favourites or particular pairs within the siblings but still marked relationships in different areas of their lives. As the only girls Sarah and Kitty shared that aspect of their lives, the boys had each other for sports and male issues, Tommy and Sarah have business minds, Kevin and herself the academic politically outspoken pair.

And Justin.

They all had their own special bond with Justin, not least Kitty who had always had a motherly instinct over him. He seemed to listen to her more than the rest perhaps because she recognised the immense pressure he was under having two CEO's, a politician and a lawyer as older siblings.

When Sarah had broken the news she though it was some sort of sick joke concocted by the two of them on the way over. The more they spoke, the more tears that fell and the details in the story emerged she had felt sick, the feeling settled itself in the pit of her stomach; it would remain there for the foreseeable future.

Breaking her out of her thoughts was her father's sudden leap to his feet as he made off down the corridor, Officer Muir was calling out to his back caught in two minds whether to follow him or stay put.

Quickly Kitty left her spot from the window and threw open the door, 'DAD!'

Nodding to the Officer she gestured that she would deal with this and quickly realised she hadn't worn the appropriate shoes for this sort of activity. She had no idea how quickly her father could move when he wanted, quickly she found herself out in the car park.

'Go back inside Kitty!' Her father hollered above the noise of ambulances and driving rain.

'What are you going to do?' She stayed focused on keeping up with him as he tried desperately to hail a cab. Softly she added, 'You don't even know if he's at home?'

Dropping his hand from the air he turned to face his daughter – she knew him far to well.

Kitty stepped in closer to her father and reached out for his hand, 'I know that you're angry…we all are, but right now **this** is not what Justin needs. When he wakes up he wants you there by his side, not in a jail cell for doing something stupid.'

Wrapping his youngest daughter in a tight hug he rested his cheek on her soaked hair, 'Oh Kitty Kat – what am I going to tell your mother?'

* * *

Tommy had finally finished his statement to the police after what felt like an eternity of pointless and repetitive questions. On reflection he realised how little they actually knew. This time yesterday they were leaving for a wedding anniversary celebration in suits and ties now – well now they were facing this life alterating situation head on.

Leaving the small room which the police had taken over as an interview room, he was so caught up in his own thoughts he walked straight into an oncoming nurse busy scrawling notes on a clipboard. As the two collided the clipboard flew one way and the coffee in Tommy's had the other, acting on auto pilot he bent to help out the blonde nurse, catching her features from the corner of his eye he was struck by how much like Julia she looked.

Julia.

He hadn't even thought of her today – when he left this morning for Dad's she had driven of to the elementary as usual, she was probably still at school marking or tidying after a particularly messy activity. He had to give her a call in person before she heard the events third hand from the rumour mill.

"I am so sorry sir. I really should have been watching where I was going. Are you okay?" The nurse had regained her composure well enough to address the bedraggled man before her.

"Yeah…yeah I'm fine." Tommy ran a hand through his hair and moved to pass her on the way back to the relative's room – suddenly a thought ran through his head. He reached out a hand and gripped the nurses upper arm as she began her journey down the corridor, "I'm sorry that was rude and I was the one who walked into you in the first place. It's just been such a rough day my brother he was brought in earlier…"

He glanced up at the nurse through his falling fringe, he had always had a way of getting what he wanted, and his natural talent with women was only overshadowed by Justin.

"My mum went in to see him a while ago and we haven't really heard anything since then…"

She looked behind her down to the nurse's station where a few ladies were chatting and keeping an eye on the monitors. "We're really only suppose to have two visitors per patient and they should be parents or partners only…"

"Ah well my Dad was there but he's in the relative's room so now it's just my Mom…"

The nurse bit her bottom lip and tucked a stray strand of hair behind.

"He's my brother…"

"Okay but if anyone asks you never saw me." She raised a smile which usually would have cheered Tommy but just as his lips began to twitch he felt like he would cry instead.

He couldn't smile, not yet.

* * *

Kitty and William walked hand in hand back toward the relatives room, neither had spoken after their long tender hug and walk back up to the room.

When they reached the door William nodded to the police officers gathered around the door, they had been joined by another man who just screamed plain clothes detective. He couldn't think about that just now – he needed to be with his children.


	6. Chapter 6

Slowly Tommy made his way down the vacant off-white coloured corridor, it felt miles long each side lined with windows followed by a door. The ICU was all private rooms so Tommy found it strange that there was a large glass window into each, he supposed it was for the nurses as they passed by just to keep an eyes on patients.

As Tommy made his way to Justin's room he tried his hardest not to stare into anyone else's room but it was a near impossible task. He was shocked by the same image that appeared in every room: clean crisp bed, prone still figure in the middle surrounded by monitors and an array of wires. Always the same solitary figure perched on the edge of a chair hand gripped around the poor unfortunate occupying the bed.

Before he had truly come to terms with the momentous trip Tommy was faced with room 416. 'J. WALKER' had been scrawled haphazardly on a whiteboard screwed to the wall. Tommy had to force his hands in his pockets to fight the urge to scrub it off with his sleeve and replace it with 'MY BABY BROTHER'.

Stepping forward a final step he instinctively took in a deep breath which was now automatically followed by the sting of tears, through the glass was the familiar image. This time it meant so much more though, the two figures in the room were Justin and his mother. His mother who so far knew nothing of the atrocities surrounding her son's life.

He gripped the handle till his knuckles turned white he vowed that no matter what his mother said or asked he had to let his father tell her the turn in events. He was so angry, he had never been so furious in his life, but it wasn't the time and certainly wasn't his place to break something like this to her.

* * *

Inside the room the rhythmic beeping had become white noise to Nora, it was taking all her energy just to keep her eyes open. She has lost track of the time, nurses had come and gone steadily, William had left some time ago and oddly never returned.

The noise of the handle made her jump, it wasn't a soft gentle opening like the nurses used it was more forceful, shattering the quiet that had been surrounding the mother and son.

Her eyes sprung up to the door way expecting to see her husband instead she was surprised to see a dishevelled and exhausted looking Tommy.

* * *

Tommy had forced himself to enter the room, a little too much as it turned out judging by his mother's reaction.

"Sorry." His voice sounded sore and scratchy after all the crying that had happened tonight.

"I…" His gaze fell upon Justin's face; it looked remarkably peaceful, at odds with the stark white room. "The nurse…she said I could come."

His mind had deserted him; he could barely form a coherent sentence. His feet propelled him forward to the empty lounge chair opposite his mothers. He reached out a tentative hand brushing Justin's scragg bangs from his forehead. Licking his dry lips he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his pale brow.

Nora had said nothing, so unlike her really Tommy was just as worried about her as he was Justin.

"Dad's in the relative's room with everyone." Please don't fail me now, just once do what I ask of you Mum, please. "I think…I think he needs to talk to you."

* * *

"I can't believe this." William gripped the polystyrene cup in his right hand, "I mean I believe it but how could we not see, we never saw any of it, and how can that be."

"Mr. Walker, often children who are victims of abuse find very ingenious ways to cover up what has happened to them. They become experts at changing the subject or very secretive about their lives outside the home."

"That's what he is now." William glanced up at the puzzled expression on the detectives face. "A victim."

"Dad." Kitty pleaded beside him.

"All those years, every Saturday morning I pulled up outside the house, handed him a $10 bill and told him I'd pick him up in two hours. He never said. Never cried, never asked me to go home, just got out the car and went up the path."

"Mr. Walker you have to understand abusers set out to make their victims feel they have no option but to carry on the cycle of abuse. They use any leverage they can to keep them in their grasp and keep them quiet. Until we speak to your son we have no details of the events."

The small room which had been set aside for interviews fell silent.

The rest of the Walker family remained down the hall together in grief, one by one they had been called through by the two plain clothes detectives from the sexual crimes branch of California PD. Until tonight William had no idea such a department existed outside of movies.

The same questions were asked of them all: did they have any information, had they ever suspected, had Justin ever opened up to them. At this point the police had little to go on apart from the suicide note - that would be until Justin woke up and could provide details first hand.

"What happens now?" Kitty broke the silence that enveloped the room. "You'll make an arrest?"

The two detectives shared an awkward look over the table, one began uselessly shuffling the notes they had been compiling leaving it to his superior to handle that question.

"Not exactly Miss Walker."

"What?" Her fathers voice was a soft whisper but she knew that tone all to well, it was dangerous and threatening. "You are telling me that you're going to do nothing. He just carries on as normal, while my son lies in a hospital bed."

"Sir we have to bide our time, gather evidence, corroborate Justin's story, interview some other pupils we don't want to jump in with two feet and blow the case on a technicality."

William leapt to his feet, he should never have let Kitty talk him out of going to the house and knocking that disgusting man into next week, "Story? Story! How dare you stand there and imply that my boy could make something like this up. You need to get your thumb out your ass and go arrest that pervert."

"William?" Nora's voice cut through her husband in an instant.


End file.
